French Laundry Survival Guide… Part 3

I know, I’m really milking this French Laundry thing for all it’s worth. People, a 5 hour 18 course dinner needs the tender lovin’ care that it deserves. The posts just keep getting better, like an aging wine.  Speaking of which, you must be wondering..”What the hell did she drink with this over-the-top meal?”

Fish, Wine and Truffle Time

Tip: If you’re a wino newbie like me then trust the Sommeliers. I know it sounds like I’m trying to lure you into a white windowless van. Really, if there ever was a time to trust, it would be at The French Laundry.  I promise no sketchy vans are waiting for you in the parking lot.

My bro was my date and he’s pretty handy with wine so I had the inside scoop on everything we tasted.  If you have any younger siblings who are searching for a career path, tell them to become a Sommelier.  That way you can take them to The French Laundry with you once they achieve international wine stardom. The Sommelier was our master tour guide walking us threw the grape vines of Tuscany.  Each tasting was wonderfully paired like pearls and white teeth.

Tip:Start off with Champange or something bubbly. It’s a celebration.

Wine and Fish go together like Fish and Wine

Here is the Sautéed Fillet of Atlantic Suzuki.  Alongside this delicate fish was freshly plucked broccoli, crisp red radish, zesty navel orange, crisp cashews, Padrón peppers (Spanish pepper) and green orange Aigre-Doux

Above is The French Laundry Caesar Salad. Also known as: My Best Bite Of The Evening. In one nibble I was brought back to a rained-the-enitre-week-vacation that my family took to Maine. I remember the rain and the lobster: buttery, juicy, tender, screaming to be tasted. These sweet-butter poached Maine lobster mitts were accompanied by pain perdu (the forgotten bread), parmesan pearls, romaine lettuce and a hen’s egg emulsion. I will never look at  “Caesar Salad” the same way again. Damn You Frenchy!

Bread and Budda

Tip: Don’t fill up on the artisan bread.  This stuff is worth its weight in gold.  It will rock your pants off and will require some serious self control to avoid over indulging. Oh and by the way there were TWO choices of butter.  One local butter which was creamy and delightful. One from Vermont with a touch of sea salt and a slice of heaven. Ok, I’m bias.

Family Plug: My Dad has an in with the French Laundry butter maker, Diane Sinclair. She is my new Butter Goddess (sorry Paula Deen). DIane is a fellow Vermonter and her butter tastes as if it were churned within minutes of arriving at your table. Satin sheets of butter. Who knew butter could be so sexy. Hi Dad.

White Truffle My Palette 

Tip: If you are lucky enough to go to French Laundry during truffle season, order the damn truffle course. Order It. Order It even if it means eating Ramen noodles for the next month. Order it if it means selling your house and moving into your parents basement.

White Truffle: The Definition of Inner Beauty. I know the above pictured truffle looks like a calcified pile of cow dung. Trust me, it tastes like a piece of heaven in a gold plated hand basket.  This truffle is legit. We are talkin’ probably smuggled in by the Italian mafia legit.  The truffle lives in the sexy mahogany box and it’s keeper is Thomas Keller. Rumor has it Chef Keller sleeps next to this box and sniffs the truffles in his sweet dreams. The white truffles are white glove delivered and if you order them you will feel for 5 minutes of your life that you are the King or Queen of Spain. They shave the white truffle at your table side and yes, the whole place watches.

What I named…White Truffle Nectar Of the Gods Dish: ripples of white truffle laid to rest peacefully on top of  velvet risotto that was infused with white truffle shavings and finished with a white truffle nectar.  That’s a lot of truffle.  Tasting this dish is equalvalent to suckling the teet of a White Truffle’s ripe bosom.  If you’re into that sort of thing.

My Last Few Bites of Truffle Nectar Of The Gods.

WIne Changer: For the first time ever, I smelled something in the glass. That “something” was the smell of truffles. There is seriously a wine that smells like truffles. There is a God. Sorry yellowtail I think we should see other people. I am forever changed and will be pairing all of my meals from now on.

The wine that changed my life I enjoyed with white truffles:

2001 Fantoni Barolo Riserva “Vigna dei Dardi”
The grape is Nebbiolo (Nebbiolo means
‘grape of fog’). It was like drinking sips of truffle grapes draped in red velvet. Oy Vay. I’m salivating like a truffle dog.

Documenting my last bite of truffle and my sniffer filled with a Truffle wine scent.

Oh man, I’m crying right now. I have to go to the bathroom and get a tissue.

Speaking of bathrooms and tissues. I know you’re just dyin to see what the French Laundry water closet looks like.

Pretty sure Cindy Lauper has used this cashmere toilet paper.

On that note come back soon for Part 4.  There will be meat and Thomas Keller is gonna get involved.

*For more Wine Information visit my favorite wine blogger: Do Bianchi