I love grocery shopping. I know add it to my list of crae crae quirks, along with no microwave and no cable t.v. Honestly, I enjoy the grab, go and flow of gathering healthy foods to feed my sweet lil family. Yes, I do look like a homeless woman with crazed wild boar in my cart 90 percent of the time, but I like it nonetheless. Part of what I like is the actual atmosphere of a store. I enjoy my local H-E-B for the fact that they are customer oriented, and it is conveniently accessible to my house, and kind to my wallet. I don’t have to drive to tim-buck-to just for some almond milk or an organic selection of breads. No, it doesn’t have the surplus of organic, gluten free, wheat free, nut bread,  that Whole Foods provides but it fits my needs and my kids enjoy some perks too.

Although, there are exceptions, like when I’m feeling fancy, I treat myself and my dinner menu to the fruits and loins of Central Market (also owned by H-E-B).  It’s kind of like my pedicure equivalent in grocery speak. I could spend hours roaming the specialty goods aisles, sampling fine cheeses and tickling the minds of the in-house sommeliers. Oh, and  I love Central Market’s grilled veggie panini, it’s seriously one of the best sandwiches in town. Not to mention, the free valet parking, (f-r-e-e).

Lord knows I threw the idea of meal-planning and couponing to the wind when I discovered that I would have to give up my $7.00 fresh english peas or carry some sort of order to my grocery cart of chaos. Yet, I have some tricks up my sleeve for creating a delicious adventure in the grocery store even with children or wild boar in tow.

Tip 1. Snacks. Always bring food to the food store (I know the irony is outstanding), or grab a banana or a bag of organic grapes to feed the hungry beasts. While the lil boars are munching, thou shall enjoy a few moments of grabbing thee groceries thee desires rather than anything thee can grab before thees hungry beasts escape. (Note: Whole Foods has some free goodies for the lil hungry beasts by the help cashier, H-E-B has a wheel to spin for kids to earn points and redeem free goodies, Central Market has balloons)

Tip 2. Make friends with your bagger. Smile and say something like, ” Yeah, I know I’m a living, walking, breathing, reminder of birth control.” Smile again and bravely ask for “help” to your vehicle AKA wild boar cage. Then, with any luck said bagger will help thee to thees car, while thee straps wild boar into something federal safety approved.

Tip 3:  Don’t give a hoot! So much energy in life goes towards judging others, giving hairy-eye balls, worrying about being judged, worrying about worrying, and so on. Seriously, stop!  Take a pause at the chocolate aisle. Deep cocoa nib infused breaths. If it’s one of those days, roll up your sleeves and dig into some chocolate covered somethin’ somethin’s throw them in the cart and stand proud. Even if the said chocolate makes the wild boar even more wild, at least when you get to the car you’ll have your trusty bagger to put the groceries in the trunk while you strap them into their seats.

Then after all is said, done, and bagged, treat yourself to a drive-thru coffee or go home and pour some of your sommelier recommended wine.

How do you survive grocery gettin’? You did survive didn’t you?

Be well, and if you are what you eat be Delicious.

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